Dreams Deferred, No More

What did she want to be when she grew up?

That’s Joi striking her usual picture day pose. This was taken at one of Chicago’s South Side elementary schools in the 6th grade. The world was her oyster at this stage of her life.

Behind that pretty smile was a book worm. Her high marks in science class came from her in-depth research on rocks. She also pursued interests in music. She was chosen from amongst a small number of children to sing 2nd soprano in the renowned Chicago Children’s Choir. Joi received awards for perfect attendance, the honor roll and most well behaved student.

As if that wasn’t enough, she had also been exposed to traveling across the U.S. at a young age. Her mother wanted to expose her girls to the world outside the confines of their Englewood neighborhood.

What were Joi’s dreams? Well, at first she wanted to be a meteorologist, but by her sophomore year of high school she wanted to be a pharmacist. However, at the time the cap was placed upon her head for her graduation from high school, Joi wanted to be a psychologist. And off to college she went…

Let me own this story now.

I barely squeaked through the first year away at college, returned to Chicago to do my second year only to fail. My mother then insisted that I attend business school where I learned how to type, take shorthand and light book keeping. This too was short lived.

By the time I was 22, I was a single mother of 3. All of my dreams were deferred as motherhood was my job, role, ambition, priority, obligation and sole duty. I went from “wanting to be” to “had to do”.

I committed myself to a good job at Ma Bell with a decent salary, good benefits and paid vacation time. It supported my new dream of raising healthy, safe, and well cared for children.

There is so much more of this story to tell, and I will. Today was simply to introduce you to Joi, share the evolution her dreams with the hope that it would inspire you to reclaim your dreams deferred.

What do you want to be now that you’re grown up? It’s not a silly question. It’s a sacred one. Especially for women over 50 who have lived entire lives caring, providing, enduring - and now finding ourselves at the edge of something new.

This is your moment. Dust off your dreams. Let’s begin again - with courage.