Memoir Monday #1: When Being Needed Isn't the Same as Being Valued

There was a time in my life when I confused being needed with being valued…

and I paid for it in pieces of myself.

This was a major move in her life.
Uprooting everything for a new beginning…

And that’s my bag.

I know how to begin again. I’ve done it across continents. I know what to keep, what to release, what to let go of so you can breathe on the other side of it.

When I arrived at her home, I could hear the overwhelm in her voice…
and I could see it written all over her face.

Decisions everywhere.

Keep that picture.
Throw away that desk.
Do I really need a lawnmower?

It looked like chaos.

But I knew better.

It wasn’t chaos… it was change.

And there I was, right on time, bringing calm into the middle of it all.
Ready to help her think. Ready to help her move through it with clarity.

But something felt off.

My suggestions didn’t land.
Not rejected… just not received.

So I adjusted.

I got quieter.
Smiled more.
Nodded in agreement.

Tucked my insight away and made myself smaller for the sake of peace.

That’s when I realized…

I wasn’t there to be heard.
I was there to be felt.

My presence was welcome.
My wisdom… not so much.

I could have left.

But I stayed.

Because I was needed.

Just not in the way I knew I could show up.

Not for the gifts I carry.
Not for the clarity I bring.
Not for the experience I earned.

And that’s a hard place to stand…
when you know your value, but choose not to assert it.

I had to learn the difference between being needed…
and being valued.

And more importantly…
I had to learn to stop offering myself in spaces that only had room for part of me.

So I’ll ask you…

Where in your life are you being called on…
but not truly seen?