Memoir Monday: Uncontrollable Tears
Trying to Find Where It Really Hurts
I have lived several lives across four continents.
Along that journey, there are people whose lives became deeply connected to mine.
The kind of connection that transcends miles. The kind that time itself cannot sever.
This morning, I received news that shook me.
One of my dearest friends lost her husband.
Her first love.
Her only love.
The man she built her life around for nearly thirty years.
As soon as I heard the news, the tears came.
And they haven’t stopped.
I know she’s hurting.
I know she’s grieving.
Part of me wishes I possessed the power to transcend time and space. I’d be standing beside her right now. Hugging her. Holding her hand. Listening. Sitting in silence if that’s what she needed.
But as the tears continued to fall, I found myself asking a different question.
Why does this hurt so much?
Of course my heart breaks for my friend.
But I wonder if the tears are also touching something deeper.
Maybe they carry memories of another life.
Another country.
Another chapter.
People I loved.
People I lost.
Versions of myself that existed only in those places and times.
Grief has a way of opening doors we didn’t know were still unlocked.
Sometimes we think we’re crying for one thing, only to discover we’re grieving many things at once.
Today, I’m not searching for answers.
I’m simply allowing the tears to tell their story.
Life has taught me that tears are honest teachers, revealing a lesson to be learned.
What have your tears taught you lately?
“Versions of myself that existed only in those places and times.”
That line stopped me. I’ve lived so many lives in so many places that sometimes it feels like each chapter belonged to a different person.